Eruku goes haywire series…
At one time or the other, we’ve all done something or the other that was or is as dumb as any of Eruku’s escapades, so by chance you found yourself relating to any of the story here, it just might be your own story. The truth about us all is that we are all social psychopaths and miscreants, our only difference is that we always manage to display our madness once in a while.
In my long sojourn in life, I have had the opportunity of meeting different individuals, some with extremely questionable personalities while some are just who they are, as a result of a society that is seemingly degraded. Our focus today, goes beyond game centres and viewing centres to near death situations involving our urban monkey that is out on the loose, if you find him out there please be free to give us a call.
Eruku is a security personnel in my school, or should I simply call the place my former school, well whatever! Back to the story, in fact his duty as a security personnel goes beyond keeping the gate but ensuring that the university environment is safe and conducive for learning, so you’ll agree with me when I say that is a good job for a young man like Eruku, who has vowed never to attend university, his reasons are very personal…. hmmmmn. The university customised their names and called them “ CAMPUS MARSHAL” and each of them had a pump action (if you know what i mean) scary uh? But not even close. This individuals are supposed to scare away cult boys from operating within the school premises, but if you ask me, I’d say they are also cult boys too.
So one day, Eruku woke up and got ready for work like every other day, he looked at his latest conquest, one of the students that he had managed to get to bed, stirring half naked in her sleep. He woke her and told her to let herself out and help him keep his key under the bucket in the front porch. Eruku left the house but unlike his usual routine every morning he stopped at the community trader’s loft to receive a package. And afterwards he headed straight to his duty post inside the school premises. The day was dull as usual, with the C.S.O barking out orders from the head quarters, it looked like it was going to be an uneventful day like always. Eruku stared at his gun for a long time, thinking here was a gun that was loaded to its mouth, but if he dared fire a bullet for no legitimate reason, his salary that was seemingly not enough would be deducted, his coordinator had drummed that fact into their heads.
By twelve noon, students were scattered around campus and an insane idea or should we call it a preconceived idea now? Came to Eruku, he felt like shooting something or someone. He thought about it for a while then he called his friend and whispered something into his ear. His friend looked suddenly puzzled but later, a rather scornful smile curled up his face. Nobody could guess what Eruku had said to him.
I had just finished lectures and was on my way back home. I was trying to scope this girl that has been on my agenda for a fairly long time. But this babe was particularly stubborn or should I use the word forming? As we were almost 30feets from the school main gate, we heard a deafening sound that seemed like the school was under some sort of attack, maybe it was the cult boys that were on rampage again after a few days of peace, or was it the Niger-delta militants had found their way to our school or maybe Abdulmutalab had escaped U.S custody to come and attack us in Nigeria? Hmmn? Do I sound as if I was exaggerating? Don’t mind me follow on.
Before I could blink my eye or could say ‘Jack’, the babe I was flirting with had gone and by the time I saw her again she was like 20feets from me, fast uh? I’d bet Usain Bolt isn’t faster than that? I ran after her trying to play the guy to reassure her that everything would be fine. I held her with my strong masculine arms and told her to stay calm. She was shivering like a child thrown inside a freezing ocean and removed again, she clutched me as though she’d not let go. I didn’t quite like it, neither was I enjoying it like most guys might, for one thing! It wasn’t what I bargained for, and she was transferring the fright in her into me.
Moreover, my curiosity wouldn’t allow me to rest, neither would it afford me the opportunity to just stay with her, so I scoped her into allowing me to go and find out what is going on. I left her, and made my way towards the school gate, to ask one of the security about what was happening in the school premises, maybe they would have answers.
But I wasn’t lucky, it was Eruku that I met by the school gate, innocently I asked him what was happening? And to my horror he pointed his pump action that was loaded with rubber bullets towards me and he told me with a demonic grin that he was practising how to shoot and that I was his next target. It was like swallowing a large piece of chloroquine tablet. At that instance, I remembered the proverbial clause ‘curiosity killed the cat’ and I was dead sure that Eruku was not joking, his face looked deathly serious. I looked around and thought of the many things that I haven’t done yet in my life, and yet this sonofab*tch wants to cut it off like this. I was momentarily dumbstruck.
Just then, when it seemed like all hope is lost, the miraculous occurred in a catastrophic manner. The Chief Security Officer (C.S.O) arrived at the scene and shot a pistol at Eruku, Eruku ducked and within a flinch of an eye Eruku fired his weapon twice and it hit the large C.S.O on the chest, the gravity or is it the velocity now? Hmmn whatever ‼! The way the gun lifted the old man from the floor could only be likened to the tricks performed in Hollywood movies. I was certain that the C.S.O was dead on my account. But the fat old man just sat up and removed the bullets from his chest and cleaned the dirt that had covered his body due to the fall and he stood up again.
I couldn’t believe it, a walking dead man ‼! Even zombies don’t look as good as this, this guy seemed as if nothing touched him at all and that is scary. This dude was shot and didn’t even have as much as a scratch on his body, this has to be black magic, voodoo or hoodoo of the highest order. Eruku shrugged as if he wasn’t surprised. Then the C.S.O said “Eruku ‼! You are such an amateur, rubber bullets me? You actually think you can kill me?” in a rather gruff voice as if he was some kind of talking beast.
Eruku just shrugged and held his gun and shot it upwards warning the C.S.O not to come any further, that he was going to shoot me and he was pretty sure that I wouldn’t be so lucky as the old man was. The old man shrugged and stepped back as if resigned to fate especially when Eruku’s partner in crime started the most dreadful display of fireworks ever, the school was troubled again and I could see heads running here and there scrambling for survival.
Even though I was been held hostage, I could still see my so-called girlfriend running away on the school field. Eruku trailed my eyes and could see who I was looking at with such intensity and he pointed his gun at her direction, my whole mind suddenly froze as if I was locked inside a freezer. The situation was bad, the C.S.O though unhurt by the gun was held at gun point by Eruku’s friend and I doubted if the old man would be able to survive yet another gunshot unhurt considering that the gun was pointed to his fore head. I went on my knees and asked Eruku to shoot me instead and make me the pawn that needs to be sacrificed in his insane chess game, then Eruku laughed, it sounded as if a grown child was crying.
“ that is so romantic, I doubt if I have ever heard of something like this before ‼!” said Eruku calling to his friend to witness the show of love. After listening to the both of them jeering at me, I had sometime to think, what was I doing? What in the heavens was I thinking saying I wanted to die for a girl that wouldn’t even grant me an audience if not that she was afraid? Then I thought about it again, I was the one that brought her into this mess in the first place, if we had left when I had the chance, we would not be here, heavens knows that even I would not be in this situation, so I might as well be the one to get her out of this situation, even if it meant dying for her…. That doesn’t even sound right.
As if someone with some sort of powers was watching the whole situation or is it God now? Great question uh? Two weird looking birds flew past us where we were, at gun point, myself and the C.S.O because Eruku had left the girl’s trail and pointed his gun back to me. I think those birds must be hawks ‼! I believe they are, one of the birds dropped a dead lizard on Eruku’s friend’s head and the other attacked Eruku head long, if that aint God then it must be another voodoo from the C.S.O.
Truthfully as though reading my thought the old man said some strange words that sounded incantations like, and he swung his fist into Eruku’s friend’s face and dispossessed him of the gun and screamed something at me. With Eruku still fighting the seemingly diabolical bird, I screamed at the old man, “ I cant hear you ‼! But the old man kicked me in my ribs and told me to run. I yielded and sprinted like a rabbit being chased by a wolf. I ran so much that I missed my house on the way, I also scaled a fence that I would never have dreamt of climbing talk less of scaling.
It was all too exciting, when I finally found my way home, my friends who were not even in the film started narrating the whole ordeal to me about how some campus marshal went berserk and they killed two people, despite myself, I managed a smile. The day after, I was so scared to school but when I finally went, I was summoned to come and testify against Eruku by the student union government and I narrated my part of the story. The other part of the story was that Eruku managed to kill the diabolical bird that was summoned by the C.S.O and had gotten into a fierce combat with the older guy. But the C.S.O and his voodoo or should I call it witchcraft or black magic would not be beaten. That was how he got arrested by the other security personnel provided by the student union government.
By Ojuola Tolulope Daniel
Source: http://www.facebook.com/#!/note.php?...d=318119453656
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